Our guest blogger today, Barbara Moon, is a friend of mine. I love the story she tells of sharing appreciation with her granddaughter and the impact it made in her granddaughter’s life! Appreciation is a simple practice with profound outcomes and worth the time and effort. I have noticed big changes in my own life as I have made the practice of appreciation a priority and have seen the impact it can have when we share it with others. Enjoy Barbara’s story and consider the people in your life who would benefit from sharing appreciation. – Jen
Barbara Moon is a mother of 4, grandmother to 11, and great grandmother to 6. Family is very important to her and she loves sharing relational skills, especially with some of the grandchildren. Barbara is an author, speaker, and small group leader in the Atlanta area.
I have a granddaughter in her 20s, Kayli, who struggled in the past with stress and anxiety. She could not seem to stay herself and grew increasingly worse when Covid came along and put all of us into isolation. One day I asked Kayli if she would be open to texting some brief appreciations with me every night? She agreed, so I set my phone alarm for 10pm so that I would not forget to send the texts.
Each night I texted three appreciations to Kayli: What I appreciated about my day; what I appreciate about her; and what I appreciate about Jesus. She replied with three of her own. It has been three years now that we have done this almost every night. Occasionally I ask Kayli if she still wants to continue and each time she says, “Yes!” The most important thing that has come out of this exercise is Kayli’s own testimony of how it changed her brain. Here are her own words:
“Within the past year of doing appreciation each night with my Nana, I have noticed a massive re-wiring in my brain and a shift in the way I think. Before starting to do appreciation every day, I saw obstacles as personal attacks from others and God. I could hit 10 green lights on my way home and get caught at 1 red light and then get upset and angry. However, each night at 10pm I would receive the sweetest text from my Nana. After a while, I began to see God, myself, my family, and my world differently. I began to realize just how blessed I was, and no matter how awful my day had been, I chose to thank God for Jesus, my Nana, and for something He allowed me to experience. I went from taking 15 minutes to think of something to appreciate, to having to pick between the 500 amazing blessings I had made mental notes of throughout the day.
I started to experience a significantly lessened sense of doom regarding my life. I went from not wanting to be alive to genuinely thanking God daily for not letting me give up and for not giving up on me. I am an advocate for therapy and medication as both have helped me, however learning to appreciate my life is an irreplaceable gift that I thank my Nana for giving to me before it was too late.”
Such a simple activity. Such a blessed outcome over a short time. I am certain that not all grandchildren would agree to such an activity, but if we can approach them humbly and ask, and we have loved and accepted them in their messes, perhaps they will let us help. Kayli and I both enjoy seeing these tiny bits of each other’s day.
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- Kayli and Barbara’s story is published in Barbara’s book “Becoming a Joy-Filled Woman” and the exercise Barbara used with Kayli is described in detail in her book “Joy-Filled Parenting with Teens”. Find out more about Barbara’s book at https://barbaramoonbooks.com
- Resources on Appreciation: https://thrivetoday.org/skill4
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