Most of us have experienced at least one (if not many) moments of mom-guilt throughout our parenting journey. These usually hit when we realize we didn’t show up in the way we “should have” for our family. I love the story my friend Emily shares today about a moment when she realized something she “should have” done and how God met her with His tender care and comfort.
Emily Woodward is a stepmom in California who loves finding ways to bring relational skills into the lives of her family members as well as to her students in her professional role as a Speech-Language Pathologist
During our family summer travels, I met one of my husband’s extended family members for the first time. She lives in another state, and we have many differences, but we quickly bonded over parenting college-bound kids. She shared a story about how hard she had prayed for her son’s future roommate long before he moved to his college campus, knowing he would need some mature peer models and a good friend to look out for him while he was away from home. I could relate to the worries she’d had about this rite of passage for her son.
At the time, we were a few weeks away from moving my stepson into his first college dorm. It had been quite a whirlwind, where he unexpectedly got into some summer classes and announced that he was going to be moving to campus in July rather than the end of September, as we had planned. So there we were, suddenly packing the car and sending him off. Both my husband and I were apprehensive about how ready he would be for all the challenges of living away from home and taking care of himself. As we were making the three hour drive to campus, I remembered the conversation from a few weeks back. I was hit with a wave of shame comparing my prayerlessness to this other parent who had paved the way for her son with prayers. Not only had I not prayed for my stepson’s roommate, but I don’t think I’d prayed about his college move-in whatsoever. My heart sank in my chest and I felt vulnerable and exposed, if only to God.
Immanuel was with me before I could even form words in my head to talk about this, though. I was caught off guard with Immanuel’s gentle correction, “Emily! Do you think I stop taking care of you when you don’t ask me?” I hadn’t considered God’s perspective on this, but of course God would not protect or provide for me or my stepson less because of my negligence, as God’s love is not contingent on my actions. I was so caught off guard by this response to my shame. It was as if Immanuel lovingly exposed my true error and helped me see my prayerlessness from God’s perspective. Instead of provoking more shame, this lifted me back to a place of peace and joy where I could trust God’s care for my family. I also felt restored relationally with God, who was not in the least concerned with my lack of Christian diligence or parental godliness, but who was present and loving unconditionally. I was grateful that Immanuel intervened into my thoughts to help me return to joy from shame and see the situation through God’s eyes.
Learn more about the relational skill of “Seeing What God Sees” aka “Godsight”: www.thrivetoday.org/skill13
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