It’s amazing to me how tender the Lord is with us in our parenting journey. He loves our children and us and desires to see both us and them grow as we walk the road of being in family together. I am grateful that the hard things (and the good things) in our journey as parents are opportunities and invitations from the Lord for us to continue to grow and work on areas in ourselves where we still have pain or gaps.
I hope you enjoy the post today from our guest blogger Pam Bryan as she shares a story of a growth opportunity the Lord gave her in her interactions with her adult daughter.
Pam Bryan loves to create an environment where authentic, timely and important words are communicated. She and her pastor-husband live in Charlotte, NC. They enjoy times with their family of 3 adult married children and 5-year-old granddaughter Sophie.
I was on the edge… the edge of tears, with a splash of anger bordering on hopeless despair. Several years ago, our daughter had been promising to call me. It was just a catch up, but one that was very long overdue. In fact, since that January, I was getting the “run around”. As the weeks dragged on, I was trying very hard to remain my joyful, mature self. There were holes in that facade.
Here’s how it went: “Oh, yes I’ll call you next week”. Then next week: “Something came up. Can we chat in a couple of days? It’s been crazy here!” Two days later I heard nothing. Nor did I hear for the next two weeks. Sometimes I’d get another calendar possibility. I was feeling devalued, marginalized and unwanted. My body was tense and teary thinking about the promised but undelivered connection. I appealed to Papa Father in prayer.
Taking a deep breath I quieted my upset body. I now could remember the incredible qualities God had woven into this amazing daughter He gave us. Tense muscles released the anger I had held too tightly. “Papa Father, what will You say to me?” I remained quietly with Him.
Four simple words scrolled across the screen of my mind. “This is for you.” His words were gentle yet weighted with sticky hesed love. Ohhhhh… I understood. It all began to make sense. He was purposely allowing this for my growth. This was the working out of His promise: “He who began a good work in me will be faithful to carry it to completion.” (Philippians 1:6) My body relaxed. All the frustration gradually evaporated into quiet understanding. Even joy returned! He was allowing this action from my daughter to form me into someone genuinely patient who would love unconditionally. This was who He was calling me to become. It was pain I didn’t want but needed to experience to bring me to new awareness. Seeing the situation through His eyes made all the difference. I would purposely live with open hands, not demanding, but receiving His perfect love, to freely give it away again. The Father was gently breaking old immature patterns. I would replace them with new ones by the Spirit’s strength. It’s a journey.
Today we have a warm and satisfying relationship with our daughter. I let go of my demand for her to meet my needs. When I’m tempted to feel unloved or “left out” by anyone, I remember my lesson; and I turn to my Papa Father. I prefer the new “becoming” me.
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Learn more about gaining God’s perspective: www.thrivetoday.org/skill13
That is a great story, Pam, and one we all need to hear. Thank you for sharing. Barbara