As I reflect on the craziness of my previous year, I feel some discouragement over the ways I failed at my job. My To-Do list remains unfinished, projects left incomplete and meetings postponed and canceled. For someone who likes to dot the “i’s” and cross the “t’s,” this bothers me.
Honestly, I don’t have to look very hard to see where I failed. It’s not a stretch to conclude some of the following statements: “I am not enough!” “I should have been able to do more!” “I am bad.” “Other people would have done much better!” “I can’t do anything right.” and, finally, “Someone else should be doing my job.”
The reality is, these statements contain some truth mixed in with lies and distortions. I embrace the fact that God has me where I am for a reason. I can take a deep breath and let that sink in. God also has you where you are for a reason.
It helps to separate some of the truth behind my failures and shortcomings. First of all, I prioritized my family. I helped my children transition to a new school and plug into a new community. I cared for a sick husband. I took time to be with my kiddos when they were sick and home from school. I made time to build joy with my family with sweet moments together in the midst of our chaos. We created memories as I lived in the moment.
While I did not do any of this flawlessly, I tried. I made it my goal to focus on relationships instead of tasks. Along the way, I discovered new areas that need some improvement. I hope I can see new growth as I reflect on some of these things next year. I am learning to be tender with my weaknesses.
Here is more good news. You still have a month left in 2018. How would you like to close out your year? What do you value? What will you be glad you did or didn’t do? Whom do you want to see, call, or spend time with?
As we enter the busiest month of the year with family gatherings, shopping, parties and Christmas celebrations, it is all-too-easy to get caught up in a long list of “shoulds.” What would you like to see when you look back on this season of your life?
It was two years ago when I first wrote a blog on the question, “Does it bring joy?” Consider this question as you prioritize your schedule and plan your time. Seriously; does it bring you joy? My prayer is for you to embrace failure as an opportunity to grow. Invite Immanuel to show you what He sees when He looks at your “supposed” failures. All too often, what we see as a failure, God sees as a unique opportunity to learn and grow. I pray you may find the gold in this realization.