Noticing the Need for Joy and Rest

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Heather Meades, author and missionary, parent to 3 and grandparent to 5. She is passionate about joy and skills to stay healthy and relational.

My daughter and her family moved to Sicily recently. I do not think they expected the tsunami of emotions that their daughter would experience with all the NEW in this transition.

Transitions of any kind are big and can evoke all sorts of emotions. Young children who lack the skills to quiet emotions on their own need grown-ups to help them. My granddaughter is 6 and is new to 1^st grade at a new school, in a new country, in a new home, with a new baby brother, and longs for new friends.

I took some time to sit with Immanuel knowing that I needed His attunement to the ache I felt for them. I sensed transition fatigue. I wondered if my daughter and son-in-law, with their wave of new emotions, needed a little extra support until the new felt normal.

I sensed from Immanuel that joy and rest was the extra support needed. I offered to do regular joy building calls with my granddaughter. As I shared the idea with my daughter on our video chat that day, a smile appeared across her face, her shoulders relaxed, and with relief in her voice I heard, “Mama, I think she would love a call from you just for her.”

I remember our very first call…she was on sensory overload after a full day at school. Knowing that art is her favorite, I narrowed her focus by asking her to draw a picture. She propped the phone on the table while we chatted. As she began to draw, she calmed; her body relaxed. Occasionally she would look up – our eyes meeting reassuring her that I was still there. With gentle attunement I said, “Sweetie, I am happy to be with you.” She responded with the same. I noticed her need for something to anchor her at the start of the call. Reading her a short story or one chapter of a book readies her for joyful interaction.

When I sensed more peace, I began asking her questions that would evoke joy filled memories, like:

·      What made you smile today?

·      Did you receive any words or compliments this week that made your heart feel nice?

·      What was your favorite part of the story?

·      Have you created anything lately that got you excited?

·      What is your favorite activity these days and tell me more about it?

After each question we take short breaks by closing our eyes and deepening our breath. We also play the quiet game – it helps to quiet all the “new” things that feel so BIG in her little life. Every little joy and rest moment stack up for significant impact. I pray that the deposits I make will offer enormous relational dividends in her future.

What a special 20+ minutes of connection helping her experience both joy and rest. Ending with a beautiful original piece of art. That made us both smile.

I am so grateful for technology and for the opportunity to share with my granddaughter the skills of joy and rest. I love the way Immanuel directed me as I took time to listen. It is such a WIN – my daughter’s family feels supported and my granddaughter is building a special bond with me from afar. The “new” and the emotions from the transition will pass with greater ease as she learns and as we practice new skills together.

I am forever grateful for the relational skills that I have acquired in the last few years. The Life Model and Thrive have been so impactful on my journey. I have even used their resources to write several children’s books, not only for my kids and grandkids, but to be a resource for all parents.

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If you would like to read a story to your children or grandchildren like she did, I recommend her book Growing Up, Let’s Celebrate.

• CLICK HERE to learn more about Heather
• CLICK HERE to see her books on Amazon